Any good suggestions?? I need to keep up with my strength training but it’s not like I can run to a gym in Japan… I won’t know where to go :p good trip workouts any of you have found???
Even though most people probably dont care about what is going on in my day i guess i will try and see how this blogging thing goes. So here we go!
I have learned that moving in is much more stressful than I thought. I am not stressed about the unpacking and decorating (that is the fun easy part) but the actually feeling as if I am on my own, paying bills. I know world, “thats life” right?! Well for me, and for this being the first time being “on my own” i guess its just really weird. It is very exciting as well. I couldn’t have asked for better roommates than my BFFF since second grade and a very close friend of mine that i have known since kindergarten. Just knowing the people and being comfortable with who i am living with is taking a lot of the stress off! But just this upcoming school year is freaking me out… but i need to start looking out for me, and only me. I need to be selfish and think about myself first and not what is better for others or what others want me to do. I need to put my goals first and not let distractions like boys get in the way. I need to learn that my guy will come when he comes and that i have other things i need to worry more about than who i will spend the rest of my life with, which could be no one but that is just how path takes me and i have to accept that! I need to study harder, get involved with on campus events, i need to branch out and not be afraid to talk to the person next to me, i need to feel good in my own skin, i need to know that i am me and no one can change that. Why would anyone want to?? I mean, i am a rare creature, i am apart of a race but i have my own individual needs that need to be kept, so why would anyone want to take away something so unique??? Just like everyone else in this world, we are all apart of the human race but we are our own being. We have our own personality and there is no two alike, we are ourselves and no one can change that.
So starting this school year there are going to be changes in my life. I am going to live for me and my goals. I am going to keep boys out of the picture, i can look but i need to focus on me (if there is one out there that is willing to try his hardest to get my attention then he might be worth the chance), I need to keep up with my studies, I need to look in the mirror and be happy with my body, I need to do things i enjoy like- hiking, dancing, photography, teaching myself piano, ceramics, painting, and laughing!! I need to laugh WAY more that i have!! And i just need to have an overall great year! I cant ask more of myself, I just need to be me and live life and take chances.
This is always easier said than done but if there is a will, there is a way. I want my voice to be heard and i want to make a difference somehow in peoples lives, I want people to look at me and say, “Wow, she really is a great person!” I want past loves to be able to put the past aside and be cordial at least, i want to start fresh and do things for me! I just want to be happy and be care free while i keep a steady head on the horizon so i can continue my journey on the path i think is right at the time. The path will always change but i can only do my best at the time and with what i have in front of me.
With this i will end my rant for the night. If anyone gets to here… im not sure what you are supposed to do but i hope you got something from this…. but thanks for getting this far!
Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love